My Compliment Pencils

For Valentine’s day, my parents sent me a card with some money in it. They do this every so often and it’s really nice. I buy something cool and then I get to thank them for the gift that they sponsored.

This year, I bought myself a notebook (that I really didn’t need) and a set of pencils.

These pencils were $10.

No, they were not made of gold or anything.

But they have really nice compliments on them. Things like “You Go Girl!” and “You Make It Rain Rainbows”.

I love these pencils. Honestly, I would use them all the time, but the bank will not accept checks written in pencil. (Disappointing, I know.)

Now why is it important for you know about my compliment pencils?

Let me get there.

If you ask anyone I’ve ever dated, they’ll probably tell you I’m not the nicest person ever. I am very sarcastic and sometimes get snappy. Rude on a bad day.

But these pencils remind me to be nice to myself. This is a hard thing to do sometimes. It’s way easier to call myself stupid and not think about how I can improve in the future. Admitting that I made a mistake and need to learn from it is difficult (as I am sure at least one other person can relate to) and it’s way easier to hate myself.

I’m not saying this for people to be like, oh don’t hate yourself, you’re awesome *finger guns* *wink*.

I’m saying this because it’s true. I hate myself on occasion. Not always and I do keep a lid on it. So don’t worry about me at the moment.

The point is that these pencils remind me to think nice things about myself, even if it’s just when I’m writing in my planner. Just holding the pencil gives me a little boost of confidence. I can handle this. I can do whatever life throws at me.

The point is that I haven’t died yet, so I don’t think my insecurities are going to kill me. Not with my pencils at my side.


Tips for Sadness

The best advice I have ever received about feeling sad was to drink something hot (hot chocolate or tea was the suggestion) and listen to The Beatles’ “Here Comes the Sun”.

This is something I forget about often, then will suddenly remember, as the song always seems to come when I need it. And when it came on a few minutes ago, I did really need it. I’d been ruminating and sipping tea, not even realizing that I was sad. Not noticing that I needed it.

And that’s ok. Emotions are weird and not always on the forefront of our mind. Something happens and suddenly we realize we’re really happy or really sad.

That song did it for me.

But, sipping my tea and listening to that song reminded me that hey, the sun is gonna come out and I can make it through whatever life throws at me. I have so far.

And I think that’s really important for people to remember.


It’s Hard to Be Creative When there Is So Much Netflix to Watch

I have two jobs.

One that gets me out of bed at 6:30 in the morning. (That’s not that early, stop complaining! Shut up, you. This is my blog.)

The other that frequently keeps me in the office till 8pm or later. (That’s not that late! What are you still doing here? Go away!)

Usually the first thing I do when I get home is sit on the couch. Ok, first I find my cat and ask him about his day. But then I sit on the couch and my brain is tired. Not fried, but tired. I don’t want to do anything taxing.

My computer is so far away and I am already sitting down.

But the remote is so close and honestly, haven’t all stories been told? Aren’t we all sick of the blog posts like, I’ve got so much writer’s block! and Being creative is hard! I am. And I know I feel pathetic when I’m forcing myself to write something that I don’t FEEL.

So I’d much rather sit and rewatch Scrubs or 30Rock or Brooklynn NineNine. These are infinitely better than any idea I could force out of my fingers at the moment, right?

Plus there are always new movies or shows and I also have Hulu and Amazon and HBOGo and I could always rewatch SNL or John Oliver and…. Ok, I’ve got a serious problem. “Maybe it will inspire me!” I try to lie to myself. I know it will not, because I will be a zombie staring at the screen. Also because, as I said, my computer is SO FAR AWAY.

My mom is a writer. She writes every day and says that’s the key to writing. “If you do it every day, it becomes habit and then that’s when you write your book.” I think that’s a Stephen King quote or something. But I don’t know how she does it.

Wait, I do. She wakes up at 4AM every day.

That’s not gonna happen for me. Not when I’m already feeling bleh from my day to day life.

But I guess what I can do is the small stuff. Maybe not daily, but I can at least be faithful to a schedule. Write down the little ideas that I have before they blow away like wisps in the wind. (See? Being creative isn’t that hard! OH MY GOD STOP IT)

So please, stick around. I don’t have a good track record for following through, but I hope to have matured since the last time I posted fanfiction.